pain in happiness.

i have a lot of friends ,cousins greeting  me and its awesome.

a day before my birthday, i have a fight with him. he's doing stupid things and

it pissed me off.

half an hour before my birthday

i have a fight with someone special

a hour after my birthday

i cried and cried

i have two phonecalls last night

 i'm just sick of everything

and its not supposed to be happen on my birthday.

my stomach is empty and i have no appetite to eat anything

my credit is finished 

$0 .02 cent left.

my eyes were swollen and i have to pretend

that i'm happy on my birthday.

'nafas cinta' 

a story starring awie wings cheer me up a lil bit this morning.

my bestfriend zubai, call to greet me 

i was on the phone with enoy and leeyah

my girls sudah greet me 

and i feel happy 

i feel down

and i'm not feeling well

theres something bothering me

i sleep at 3 this morning 

crying and thinking on my bed

and i think its stupid because

it should be a happy day.

anyway

happy birthday to me. [;

thanks to those people who greeted me .i appreciate all of you.

i'm hurt and i'm happy in the same time.

i feel down, down ,down.

TOMORROW IS MY BIRTHDAY (:

I'M GETTING OLDER
AND I'M HAPPY 

:D 

to my beloved beloved mother, thankyou ,

without you ( AND DAD) i'll never been born.

to god, 

thankyou for all.

to life, i enjoyed you much.

what's wrriten in my diary.

1WEEK BEFORE

i asked you to leave me. we had a fight and we broke up.
you're mad at me and i'm went to my friend, sitting down, crying. they asked me to stop, be patient. 'everything is gonna be okay. '
i' m okay in the next 10 minutes. you're leaving and i feel depressed.
i started to missing you ,
but realising that you and me have nothing to do anymore
makes me regret.
i regret for letting you go.
i have a doubt on you, thats why.
its not that i don't love you anymore. its just way too clear that you're not taking
our relationship seriously.
i'm just scared to love you.
i'm scared to get hurt.
i know ,
loving means pain.
i've made a mistake. i hope you're ready to forgive me.
i apologise for my stupid attitude.
i take back my words.
you barely show you care about me.
you said you love me , but i didn't feel any.
i thought you didn't love me.
but , at the day i asked you to leave,
you're  doing good. you showed me you love me.
you're telling me the truth , you're speaking correctly and
it makes me wanna take back my words at the first place.
the reason i'm leaving is ,
to see how you're gonna live without me. Without me ,
by your side.
you used to be my superman.
the one.
you're the first thing i see in my mind in the morning.
you're the reason for this scar in my heart.
i'm trying to get along with you.
you're asking me to come back.
you're waiting for my answer ,
 
" .   .   .   .   .   . "

give me some time to think. i'm afraid that you're gonna hurt me , again.
i'm sorry to keep you waiting.
i'm sorry.
i'm just confuse, confuse with my feelings.
a part of me tells me to go.
another part asked to stay.
i love you.
and i hope you love me too.
you're one of best part in my life.
i thought we're gonna work out,
together for a long, long time.
but things go round baaaackwards.
everything's changing.
wait for my answer,
if i said yes,
thankyou god.
if i answered no,
i apologise in advance.

i miss the way you smile while looking at me
i miss the way you laugh when you're listening to my joke.
i miss the way you mad at me.
i miss the way you hold my hand when you're telling me
your sweet talks
i miss the way you take your cigarretes out of your pocket
and hid it behind your back
i miss the way you lied  when i'm asking about the truth
i miss the look you made when you're mad about something
i miss the way you pinch my cheeks
i miss the way you pulled my hand when i'm leaving
i miss your voice
i miss seeing you

we're over, are we ?
am i too late ?
crying won't change anything
i understand.
i don't want you to see how desperate i am
i'm desperate to see you
i'm desperate to make you mine ,
again.
what i've learned from you is pain, pain baaaby pain.
you broke my heart
then i broke us.
everything reminds me of you.
my bag. your watch. your ring,
movie tickets, cupcakes , cookies, numbers.
clouds, rain, world.
i still remember the last words you've said.
i never stop thinking of you,
but i'm feeling pain,
in every breathe i take.
i want to come back ,
but i'm not sure.

god, give me a sign.
if he's the one, tell me
before its too late.
 
); 

ku cuba tuk tabahkan hati.

menyedari kau tak lagi bersamaku
ku cuba tuk tabahkan hati
titisan air mata
yang gugur tika memikirkan mu
tidak lagi ada gunanya
semua sudah berlalu
dan kini ku keseorangan
tanpa hadir dan tawamu
aku cuba untuk tetap tabahkan hati
kerana dibalik duka
ada hikmahnya.
cinta bukan harus memilikki
asal kau bahagia rela aku melepasmu.
jangan kau lupa cinta diantara kita
yang pernah terjalin
sehingga kita berpisah
biarlah aku ubati sendiri
bisa di hatiku ini.
duka lara yang ku rasai
akan hilang sendiri ditelan waktu.
aku resah lalui waktu tanpamu
gelisah ku menanti bayangmu
namun dirimu tak datang lagi
mungkinkah kau sudah pergi jauh
jauh dari hidupku.
harapan ku sudah tiada
namun kenangan yang tinggal kini
akan ku abadikan dalam jiwa dan mindaku.
selamat tinggal kekasih
selamat tinggal ku ucapkan.

Ku tersentak dari lamunan

kau datang menemui ku
dengan hadiah ditangan kananmu
kau duduk bersimpuh
melihat jauh kedalam mataku
kau katakan
sebesar mana cintamu padaku
kau lafazkan kerinduan yang terbuku
di hatimu
kau genggam tanganku
kau kelihatan resah
ku mula menyedari
dan bertanya kenapa kau gelisah
kau katakan yang kau akan pergi jauh
jauh dari pandangan ku
mengikut keluarga mu diluar negara
kau akan kembali tetapi tak tahu bila
kau menangis
kau meminta maaf
dan pergi tanpa kata
ku terdiam dan menanti mu
namun tiada tanda kau akan datang
ku terus menanti dan menanti
hari semakin malam
dan masih tiada bayangmu
aku terduduk
dan aku merasa rindu
aku tertanya tanya
adakah kau akan datang menemuiku
gugur air mataku
bila ku menyedari
kau takkan datang kembali
aku tersentak dari lamunan
air mata membasahi pipiku
fikiranku mula melayang
wajahmu mula ku terbayang
aku merindui mu
setahun sudah berlalu
aku tersenyum mengenangmu .

CUTE THING IN MY LIFE.

cute ah.he's my babybro.masatu ia menari lagu poco poco dapanku.iatahku gambar. sasak ia ni mun ia meliat.

"DAMIT DAMITNYA KAN BEPOCO POCO."

well, ani pictures kemarin lusa.  10 days to my birthday,

LIFE GONE WILD WHEN I'M GROWING.

I MISS MY GIRLS. they're all busy :S

i have nobody to talk with and i bored here.

:(

i have this feelings, 

and its been bothering me. 

:(

my life.

uploading these pictures, reminds me of my past.
i'm trying to accept the fact,

These days won't come back.

I love my life.

Memories.

sungkai outing this year.

Susiuk ah.haha.

bestfriends :DDDDD

I LOVE THEM!

Qilah.anak maci.  CUTE li ah :D

|m|

HIM.

he's too good to be mine. :(




i'm not searching for someone perfect. He's  fine for me. i mean, too good .

yeah.

exam ku tinggal 4 ! and  batah sudah ku inda update apa apa. gila ah. haha,. busy saja wah exam ah.
AND ,
masane aku single. but, its still complicated.ia masane tunggu jawapan goback kah inda.
antah eh.i'm confuse.
I'm dooooooing fine here, everyone.i'm having a great time with bestfriends, (;